My phone “buzzed” and a friend’s text read “Matt Chandler Steps Aside After Inappropriate Online Relationship.” I was shocked. Of all people, not Matt Chandler!
I frantically scanned the article, and it wasn’t as bad as I initially thought, but it wasn’t good either. Matt and a woman (that was not his wife) ‘Direct Messaged’ on Instagram in a “frequent” and “familiar” way over the course of several months.
According to the elders who reviewed the messages, the relationship was not sexual or romantic, but they believed that they were “unguarded and unwise.” In response, Pastor Chandler was put on immediate indefinite leave.
The whole situation is extremely discouraging, and feels like a victory for Satan no matter how you view it. There are far too many aspects of this incident to cover in one blog, but below are three things I’ve been reflecting on in the wake of this disappointing revelation.
1. This is NOT an example of toxic purity culture
A favorite target of progressive Christians is “toxic purity culture” in the Evangelical world. One outcome of this is the idea that sexuality has been scandalized and that women are to blame for the moral failings of Christian men. According to this mindset, Women are the problem, and need to be guarded against.
Critics of purity culture see this DMing incident and the subsequent reaction by Matt Chandler and his elders as the latest example of hyper-sexualizing an innocuous set of exchanges between two people of different genders. While purity culture is a thing, and has caused some damage, this situation is not one of them.
I think this type of thinking stems from a false-dichotomy. Men can honor and value women while at the same time setting healthy boundaries, just as women can. I interact with women that aren’t my wife daily. They are my equals and peers. But I don’t have non-work related conversations with them online. That’s not weird, that’s common sense.
2. Be careful what you wish for
Until the last few decades, a pastor was a localized figure with a reach that extended to the amount of people he/she could interact with personally. Book sales might have propelled a uniquely gifted pastor to greater influence, but it was rare and limited.
The internet has changed the game. Today’s gifted pastor can rise to considerable global fame and influence, and some good has come of this. But there is a great reciprocal danger. How does the expression go? “The bigger they are, the harder they fall.”
James puts it this way, “Dear brothers and sisters, not many of you should become teachers in the church, for we who teach will be judged more strictly.” - James 3:1
As a follower of Jesus, we should be cautious about wanting influence or leadership, because while we are all imperfect and in desperate need of grace, not everyone’s struggles are paraded before a world all too eager to see you fail.
God may call you to have a big influence, and if He does, you’d be wise to memorize 1st Peter 5:8: “Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.”
Turns out the lion loves nothing more than to feast on Christian leaders and influencers.
3. Thank God for Grace
The world scoffs at our failures, and celebrates when Christians fail. Fortunately, God doesn’t write people off like the world does, and neither should we.
There is simply no room for a self-righteous attitude among us. If anything, this situation is a sobering reminder of how desperately we need God’s grace.
Sadly, Matt’s reputation is irreparably damaged. The Village Church will never have the same influence again. The whole thing is frustrating and awful, yet this story can have a happy ending because Jesus died for those who mess up, high-profile pastors, and regular old sinners like me.
Want to hear the full discussion? Check out Episode 444: Was It Right for Matt Chandler to Step Down?
